yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
