You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
