after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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