if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
