and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize