hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
