Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
