I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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