Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
