Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
