She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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