Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
