Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
