i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize