We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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