so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
