i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
