Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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