I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
