Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
