i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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