? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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