Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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