first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize