I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
