And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
