Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
