so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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