O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
