Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
