Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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