I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize