That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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