Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
