Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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