at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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