And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
