I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
