So drunk its hurt
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize