I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
