I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
