you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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