trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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