I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
