3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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