Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
