haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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