we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
