This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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