I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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