yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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