oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize