all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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