Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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