i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
