white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
