Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(716): View more from New York

He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you

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(314): View more from Missouri

Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?

(616): View more from Michigan

Not in jail

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Alive?

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(317): View more from Indiana

He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua

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