dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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