i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
