i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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