So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
