make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
