just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
