just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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