she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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