I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
