I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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