I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
