I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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