Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
