My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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